I wasn’t sure how to write about this or even if I should write about it. I have so much to be grateful for and so many reasons to be happy and yet I have these beliefs that are so deep rooted that they stop me from achieving and having the life I want. I know and I write about how we, by controlling our beliefs and thoughts control our reality. Thus by changing those thoughts and beliefs we can change our reality. How do you do that? It’s something I have been struggling with. There are some I have managed to overcome and totally get rid of but those beliefs that have been living with me the longest, the ones that have shaped my life thus far, those ones just keep hanging on. I feel like perhaps this is my life work. To overcome these beliefs so I can help other people overcome theirs.
First things first. You have to really want to overcome them. You have to really be willing to make a serious effort. If these things took years to create and have been reinforced then they may well take some time to replace. You also have to be willing to give things a try that you may not be automatically comfortable with like me with affirmations. I know that they are powerful and if done consistently can help make big changes. Also committing to not allowing yourself into the usual thought patterns. I know when mine start and yet I don’t avoid the things that trigger them. I actively do those things. Making time is also important. It’s so easy to use the excuse of time. That maybe we don’t have enough of it so we can’t do these things. Restructuring your day can really help with this and free up enough time for you to make change possible. The alternative is things stay the same. Thats not what I want and if it’s not what you want either then please read on.
I am not good enough – This is a limiting belief that many people have. First of all we need to pin down what we think we are not good enough at and what we are not good enough for. For me the list is extensive. I have always believed that I wasn’t good enough for love, success, happiness, a career I love, money and being liked. That’s the truth. Even as a grown woman I often feel not good enough to succeed which I think explains why my career is not were I have always dreamed it would be. When I look at those people who have done amazingly well they all have one thing in common they belief what they want is possible and they believe they deserve it. So there is 2 more I don’t deserve what I want and I don’t believe what I want is possible. If I don’t believe these things then how can I ever have them? The belief comes before the thing. If we believe and think as if what we want is already real so it will become real. Our minds really are powerful things but in the same way if I believe I can’t have it or it won’t happen then thats all I’m going to get.
People don’t like me – This stems from being bullied at school. I hated myself and for this reason I believed everyone else must too. This is reflected when I’m in work situations. I just assume that people don’t like me and so I can’t be myself which very often ends with people not really liking me. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy. Of course not everyone is going to like you all the time. However if you can’t be yourself in peoples company because you assume they don’t like then you are not giving those people a chance to even meet the real you.
I am a failure – I believe that I have failed at everything I have tried in my life. I also, if I’m honest believe I will continue to fail because I don’t believe what I want is possible, I’m not good enough, people don’t like me and I don’t deserve what I want. Can you see how all these beliefs feed into each other? How they all support each other and make this so very real. They make it so real inside that it has to be real outside too. Thats how it works.
Our whole world the good and the bad is a reflection of what once started as a thought and became a belief in someones mind. Every building you see was once just an fragment of someones imagination, the airplane, the internet, computers, cars all of these started as a thought, an idea in someones mind and if they didn’t have the belief in the idea or the thought then it couldn’t have become real. It is exactly the same for us. We shape our lives. No one else is responsible unless you allow them to be.
Over coming the limiting beliefs
Affirmations – Positive statements that if said often enough (Repeat each one 3 times, 3 times a day) can help replace our negative beliefs with positive ones. For example an affirmation to overcome ‘I am not good enough’ could be as simple as ‘I am good enough. The thing with affirmations is if you just say the statement but don’t match it with the correct feeling it won’t work. For example if I say ‘I am good enough’ but feel crappy as I say it then all I’m doing is reinforcing that I am not good enough. You have to really muster a positive feeling as you say it. This can grow and grow. You are in control. It may feel a bit silly at first but if you want change this is a powerful way to start.
Get some help – From a counsellor. therapist, life coach, guru or someone you have seen make a success of their life in a way you want to with yours. For some of us to learn how other people have done things can be a great push in a great direction. We can learn what they have always done, thought and believed to help us create a similar internal environment for ourselves. For some of us things maybe a little more complicated and we may need some help to untangle things to discover what is really going on within us. This is the case for me. I have so many displaced emotions from my experiences over the years that I am needing some help to unravel things and understand myself a bit better. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS. I just see it as the best investment I can ever make. I don’t want to waste anymore time and I want to get to my goal quicker so I have enlisted help. Perhaps if you are struggling you should do the same.
Post it notes – Write your affirmation or things you want yourself to think and stick them everywhere. Car, bathroom mirror, kitchen cupboards or anywhere you look often. It just can help break our current thought patterns and cycles. As soon as we see the note we become aware of what we are currently thinking and then change it for something better.
Have a digital detox – Even if it isn’t for long. 24 hours but on a regular basis just so you have more time and less distractions. I find that social media and what I see on it can dictate how I am feeling moment to moment. Having a break can give us more emotional consistency to concentrate on ourselves.
Affirmation suggestions – At first it can be tough to think of positive affirmation as we are so used to the negative ones. Here are some suggestions. Just tailor them so they feel as natural as possible for you. I grabbed these ones from Dr Carmen Harra. You can also google for affirmations on whatever you feel you need help with.
1.) I am the architect of my life; I build its foundation and choose its contents.
2.) Today, I am brimming with energy and overflowing with joy.
3.) My body is healthy; my mind is brilliant; my soul is tranquil.
4.) I am superior to negative thoughts and low actions.
5.) I have been given endless talents which I begin to utilize today.
6.) I forgive those who have harmed me in my past and peacefully detach from them.
7.) A river of compassion washes away my anger and replaces it with love.
8.) I am guided in my every step by Spirit who leads me towards what I must know and do.
9.) (If you’re married) My marriage is becoming stronger, deeper, and more stable each day.
10.) I possess the qualities needed to be extremely successful.
11.) (For business owners) My business is growing, expanding, and thriving.
12.) Creative energy surges through me and leads me to new and brilliant ideas.
13.) Happiness is a choice. I base my happiness on my own accomplishments and the blessings I’ve been given.
14.) My ability to conquer my challenges is limitless; my potential to succeed is infinite.
15.) (For those who are unemployed) I deserve to be employed and paid well for my time, efforts, and ideas. Each day, I am closer to finding the perfect job for me.
16.) I am courageous and I stand up for myself.
17.) My thoughts are filled with positivity and my life is plentiful with prosperity.
18.) Today, I abandon my old habits and take up new, more positive ones.
19.) Many people look up to me and recognize my worth; I am admired.
20.) I am blessed with an incredible family and wonderful friends.
21.) I acknowledge my own self-worth; my confidence is soaring.
22.) Everything that is happening now is happening for my ultimate good.
23.) I am a powerhouse; I am indestructible.
24.) Though these times are difficult, they are only a short phase of life.
25.) My future is an ideal projection of what I envision now.
26.) My efforts are being supported by the universe; my dreams manifest into reality before my eyes.
27.) (For those who are single) The perfect partner for me is coming into my life sooner than I expect.
28.) I radiate beauty, charm, and grace.
29.) I am conquering my illness; I am defeating it steadily each day.
30.) My obstacles are moving out of my way; my path is carved towards greatness.
31.) I wake up today with strength in my heart and clarity in my mind.
32.) My fears of tomorrow are simply melting away.
33.) I am at peace with all that has happened, is happening, and will happen.
34.) My nature is Divine; I am a spiritual being.
35.) My life is just beginning.
Remember this year, this month, this week, this day infant right now is where change starts,