It’s just 6 weeks before i undergo a double mastectomy for the prevention of Breast Cancer and boy does it feel good to say that.
I have decided that the fitter I am when I have the operation the quicker I will heal and thus I have been training like a mad man, which has meant at times I have been walking very strangely. I can’t stress the importance of exercise enough. Honestly as I write this I feel like crying because I am so grateful to exercise and for having a body that can do it. When I’m doing it I moan, as my friend and trainer Erron Dussard of Stone Image training will tell you, but I know the power it holds and I am so grateful to it.
Exercise allows me to feel strong and sturdy. I admit it doesn’t sound sexy but when you’re about to undergo something that will change your body forever the stronger it feels the stronger I feel in terms of being able to cope and deal with those changes. Finally I can say I love my body and I feel really bad for all the things I have done to it. It’s never let me down and I’m so grateful to be able to type this, thanks to my body.
I thought maybe this would be a story of me falling out of love with my body when actually it turns out to be quite the opposite. I have a abused it, hated it and wished it was something else but it has never let me down. It has overcome every challenge i have presented it with and when i decide i want to achieve or do something it has no choice but to come with me.
As this operation approaches I see more than ever that my body is a gift. It’s a house, my house and I’m here living in this body and this body kindly does what i want it to do. For all the times I have looked in the mirror and pulled my body apart, seen all it’s floors and all the things i believe are wrong with it, for those times I’m sorry. All that time I had a fit healthy body that was willing to help me achieve anything and come with me anywhere. I just didn’t see it. Perhaps the way we should look at ourselves, other people and without sounding like a massive cheese ball the world, needs to change. Instead of noticing the negative in what we see, which sadly we’re taught is normal, why don’t we, despite what society tell us is beautiful, ugly, good or bad find something good and focus on it? Stick with it, be grateful for it and love it.
Whats in front of us isn’t bad or ugly, in fact there are many more things about what we see to love than to dislike. It’s just a matter of switching your focus and reminding yourself of all that is good and great about yourself, others and the world we live in.
Love to you all,