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Thank you for fabulous friends.
I whole heartedly love my friends and i owe them so much. I can not express how much they mean to me nor how much their love and support has made a difference to my life. When i made my decision to have a double mastectomy i had a boyfriend but it wasn’t him who came to my 1st appointment with me it was my friend Louise who sat and listened to the surgeons, nurses and the lovely brave ladies who spoke about their mastectomy experiences, it was her who took me for dinner afterwards and discussed my feelings, my fears and ultimately the finer details of what i was going to undertake. It was her who allowed me to realise that i would not be doing this alone, far from it, i felt loved and supported which in turn made me feel so confident about my choices.
When i 1st meet my surgeon and discussed the nitty gritty of the procedure i wasn’t alone my friend Steph was there to listen to all the information and help me digest it. She was there to laugh with me when i was told my nipples may go ‘Dusky’ and have to be removed, she was there to smile, reassure me and remind me i was not alone.
My goodbye boobs party couldn’t have happened without my amazing friends DJing, making cakes and of course showing up to give me a hug and show their support. It was a night i will never forget, it was a night i got very drunk, it was also a night people showed up to show love and that was so very special. Looking around and realising these people care gave me so much to be grateful for.
On the day of the operation i woke up in bed next to my best friend Cat who took time off work and away from her own business and family to stay in London to be with me. She was with me on route to the hospital, through all my consultations and when i went to have my anaesthetic. She was there when i woke up from my operation smiling and joking. Cat came to the hospital everyday and was even there to drive me back to my parents home. I’m not even sure how to express my gratitude for all of that. She is always able to make me laugh out loud. She is always able to make me smile. She is always there to remind me not to take life too seriously and that there is fun to be found in everything. I love this woman with all my heart and i’m so thankful she was there to love and support me.
Since coming home i have been utterly over whelmed by the love and support, the flowers, cakes and bears, by the texts, calls and messages i have received from far and wide and of course seeing the beautiful faces of my friends. The people i know love and support me. To know i am loved like this makes me cry, happy tears because for so much of my life i felt completely alone. This experience has changed so, so much for me in amazingly positive ways.
I have treasured this time of finally being able to accept the love of my friends. I have treasured my own realisation that i am loved and how much I love my friends in return. If the people in our lives are simply mirrors of us then i must be bloody amazing (i know, i’m cheeky).
I now feel supported and loved. I once felt something was missing, i felt i needed love and to be loved. I searched for it for years but this experience has made me realise it’s here already. Instead of hunting and looking i have stood still and seen just what i have in my amazing friends. These are people i would do anything for, these are people i am extremely proud of, these are people who face their own fears and inspire me daily. I could not ask for more than having these amazing people in my life.
The operation is over but my life continues with these crazy, beautiful, lovelies and i can not wait.