When i started this journey. When i said ‘now is the time’, when i made the appointment and when i set the date for my double mastectomy i never expected that it would bring so much to my life. It has been a huge turning point for me. It’s like i’m finally holding my hands up and saying ‘this is me, lump it or like it’ and to do that has been so very empowering.
It’s been a roller coaster so far. It has made me think about my mum and sister. It has made me address things that i never have before. It’s made me love myself and realise my worth. It has cemented the importance of self love, self confidence and self respect. I used to say, but i now know, that if you don’t love or respect yourself then you can’t expect anyone else to.
It has made me think long and hard about the beliefs and excuse’s i have formed that hold me back and stop me from achieving. I have had to be very honest with myself about why i’m not exactly where i want to be, doing what i want to do. I have realised the importance of taking full responsibility for myself and my life. No blame and no excuses. It’s a scary prospect but this is my life and i want to make the most of it so accepting i am fully responsible for it a must. Looking back i have, for years, allowed other people, events and things to be the reason i haven’t excelled. The biggest realisation there is ‘I HAVE ALLOWED’. No one else is responsible for my mindset and position in life, only me.
Making the decision to have my boobs removed, over coming the fear and talking openly about it has changed so much for me. I am no longer fearing the operation, i am no longer fearing who i’ll be or how i’ll feel after it. I am feeling increasingly more positive and pro active about my life. When i catch myself worrying about the petty things like ‘how they’ll look’ or ‘will i still feel sexy’ i stop and i smile. I smile because in comparison to being alive these kind of thoughts really aren’t a big deal. I love those thoughts. They remind me exactly why i’m doing this and how very important it is for me to share my story with other people in the hope they to can rationalise their fears and feel empowered, in control and confident.
Christmas is on it’s way and whilst i’m not neglecting my partying and present buying duties as a friend, sister and daughter i am also trying to get a whole lot done.
Cosmopolitan magazine are hosting 4 online articles for me as well as hopefully doing one in print as are Grazia magazine. BBC Newsbeat has now come on board and will be filming and hosting regular videos on their website. I’m having a ‘Goodbye Boobs’ photo shoot and party. I’m also recording a song and making a music video about my Boobs, which if you know me you’ll know is going to be a bit silly. My amazing friend Sarah Martin or ‘SHE REPUBLIC’ clothing has designed a T Shirt which is amazing. We will be selling them and donating all profits to charity. I have been raising money on justgiving.com/clairahermet and so far have raised £300 for Genesis. Of course i have been doing all my usual stuff too.
I just want to thank everyone for the support and love they have shown to me.
Peace and Love,