Double D Day is 2 days away, less really because in under 48 hours time I hope my op will be over and I’ll be in recovery. I know everything will be well because I have faith and trust that what is meant for me is indeed meant for me.
It’s so important to me that you know how this time from deciding to go ahead with mastectomy to now, less than 48 hours before it happens has changed me forever in the best possible way. How the death of beautiful sister 3 years ago started something that I have never given up on, something that I have pursued even in the moments it felt every part of me didn’t want to. How seemingly horrid events can be made, by us into something so positive it not only changes our lives but hopefully other people’s too.
My mums death haunted my childhood and early adulthood. It was only after the death of my sister some years later I realised I had no right to feel miserable, I had no right to feel sorry for myself because I was here. I still had my life a head of me. Let me tell you it has been a battle within myself to come from that realisation to where I find myself today. Still myself but with out all the sadness, self pity and now I love my life, now I’m grateful for all life throws at me good or bad because all of it can be learnt from.
These days it’s a matter of perspective. The words of the man who’s books changed my life, Dr Wayne Dyer ring in my ears “change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” Trust me when I first heard this my first thought was ‘Bollocks’ but for some reason I kept going and now I see exactly how true this statement is.
You have to understand how powerful you are. How much and what your capable of. Don’t go through life never finding out and always being sad about what has or hasn’t happened to you. You deserve better so know that giving you better is down to you and you alone. No one is coming to rescue you, no one will wipe away your problems, no one will appear and make it all better, no one but you. Do it for yourself. Once you do you can help others find their peace and their love. Just like my sister did for me.
Love to you all,