Being beautiful is hard………

Being beautiful is hard………

Being female is hard. It’s hard because we put so much pressure on ourselves and have so much pressure put on us to look right and act right. From a young age we are taught that looks are one of the most important assets we can have. They’ll be what decides whether or not we have friends whether or not boys like us and ultimately whether or not we are successful in life. There are of course exceptions to every rule but if you’re not ascetically pretty your self confidence will be knocked time and time again.

The standards society expect of woman in the ‘looks’ department are bloody stupid and require no end of diet crazes, make up and even surgery to try and achieve something that even once we get, we’re still not happy with.

Why? Men don’t have these harsh stipulations put on them. They’re free. I consider feeling like you have to wear make up to be accepted like being in prisioned.

I can not tell you the amount of tears i have cried in my life time because of how i felt about myself. If someone tells you enough times that your ugly, you start to believe it. If you constantly see pictures in the media of what the perfect ‘woman’ should look like you start to believe that you are a failure for not being that perfect woman. You start to dislike yourself and then eventually you start to believe it of yourself too. You go through life telling yourself your ‘ugly’ or ‘not good enough’ that no matter how hard you try you just can’t live up to this ideal of beauty. Ironically our constant comparison and search for this ideal ‘beauty’ we are trying to recreate is something that causes so much ugliness in the form of self hared.

I want you to remember that you were born without any of this. You had no idea what ascetic ‘Beauty’ was because you were to busy playing, exploring and having a fantastic time. Then someone started calling you pretty and you became pretty. Until someone told you, you were ugly because you had a big nose or small eyes so now your ugly. Then you see Barbie/Cinderella, everyone likes Barbie/Cinderella because she’s pretty, everyone wants to play with Barbie/Cinderalla because she’s pretty. (I know i have just skimmed over this but you get the idea, these belief about ourselves as women are formed in early childhood and are learned not natural) Therefore most of us adopt the belief that to be liked we must be ascetically pretty? Can you see how much bull shit all of this is? Of course beauty and cosmetic industries love the fact as women we are insecure and are hurting bbecause then we spend money on all the things they have invented to make us look ‘more beautiful’.

It’s time to forget all we have been ’taught’, it’s time to go back to being the child who wasn’t even aware of ascetic beauty. It’s time to free yourself and it’s time to love yourself.

I’m not saying throw away your make up and burn all your clothes and start crawling around in a nappy. I’m saying stop letting the media and other people brain washed by it dictate to you what ‘Beauty’ is.

Beauty is not define by the size or shape of your body. Beauty is not how long your eye lashes are or how wrinkle free you face is. Beauty isn’t something you can buy in a tub or bottle. Beauty isn’t the result of under going surgery to have bigger or small boobs or a bum.

Beauty is the very essence of you. It’s kind, caring loving and it’s free. Beauty is not something external it’s something internal and the rest of the world can’t benefit from your beauty unless you drop the amour of ascetic beauty, how it makes you feel about yourself and embrace that internal glow that is your real beauty.

Being as beauty is internal, whatever you do to the outside might make you feel better for awhile but it won’t make lasting changes because you haven’t addressed where the real problem is……. inside.

You are beautiful but before anyone else can see it you need to see it.

body image



  1. Avatar August 14, 2014 / 4:46 pm

    Great piece Claira! I know this goes against everything you said… but you are BEAUTIFUL! lol

  2. Avatar
    Xavier D
    August 14, 2014 / 5:39 pm

    I disagree with the idea that men are free from the notion of beauty as a deciding factor in our lives. I think it hits us at exactly the same time (puberty), just in different ways (and perhaps to a lesser extent). It’s true, we don’t have makeup to worry about, but we still better have good skin (as in non spotty or dry) and a decent haircut. We need to have the right clothes and attractive bodies bodies. Listen to the right music and enjoy the right hobbies.

    I think the worst thing about it between women is that looks tend to be the be all and end all of a persons worthiness. A group of boys will look past that, if the person in question is good at sports or provide some other benefit to the group.

    I may have just contradicted myself there… 😛

  3. Avatar
    Yinka Bokinni
    August 20, 2014 / 4:23 pm

    You’re such an inspirational person, it goes to show that there is always something deeper than what people choose to show you.
    Thankyou for sharing

  4. Avatar
    Michelle Stevens
    August 21, 2014 / 8:05 pm

    Claira you are totally inspirational, your mum and sister would be so proud of you! X

  5. Avatar November 18, 2014 / 8:32 pm

    Thanks-a-mundo for the blog post.Really thank you! Great.

  6. Avatar December 15, 2014 / 4:09 am

    It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d without a doubt donate to this brilliant blog! I suppose for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will share this site with my Facebook group. Talk soon!
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